The biggest stars of stand-up came here on their way to stratospheric fame. See the stars of tomorrow, right now on your doorstep!
Acts contain strong language. Off the Kerb reserves the right to alter line-ups.
Age guidance 16+
Genre: Comedy
Teechers
Meet Gail, Hobby and Salty – three year 11 students about to leave their school days behind them, fighting their anxieties with imagination and theatre.
As their final term nears its end, the trio perform a play inspired by the chaotic first days of their idealistic drama teacher. With only the props of their classroom to hand and just three actors taking on over 20 different roles, Teechers is a tour-de-force of storytelling and the power of live theatre.
Written by John Godber in the 1980s, Teechers is a fast-paced comedy with a vital message about the entrenched inequalities of the UK’s education system that are still as punchy as ever forty years later.
“A brilliantly crafted show, full of comedy, charisma and heart” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ West End Best Friend
“A raucous comedy”/ “joyously energetic” ⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Guardian
“Powerful, punchy, pacy and political” Entertainingly Different
“A wonderful celebration of the power of imagination” Curtains Up
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ What’s On Live, Behind The Arras, What’s Good To Go, Drama And Theatre
⭐⭐⭐⭐ Fairy Powered Productions, Northern Soul, Theatre And Art Reviews
WHALE
WHALE is a multimedia, alternative comedy special that combines clowning, stand-up, and haiku poetry to explore how far we will go to avoid being honest about our feelings.
Sharing haikus and short stories, Sam is doing everything he can to distract both himself and us from a dark secret. This shapeshifting solo show doesn’t stop for sixty minutes, but how long can Sam keep up this act?
You’re Bard
Four actors. Four Shakespeare shows. Endless possibilities.
You – the audience – decide everything, from the play to the performance style. Even which actor plays which part. This hilarious, unpredictable new show, featuring actors whose past experience includes the RSC, Bristol Old Vic, Cheltenham Everyman, Dubai and the West End promises an unforgettable evening of Shakespeare unlike anything you’ve ever seen before!
“Delightfully Daft” (The Stage)
“A chaotic, ambitious, side-splittingly funny interactive Shakespearience” (Westhoff Reviews)
“Though this be madness, yet there’s method in’t” (William Shakespeare)
The Funny Mummy
From pregnancy to playdates, WhatsApp groups to school runs – if you’re a parent, and you need a laugh, then this show is for you!
Alyssa Kyria, aka The Funny Mummy , is the co-creator of Bring Your Own Baby Comedy and performs comedy to audiences across the country.
Her comedy, music videos and sketches have gone viral on Netmums and Facebook and she has starred on BBC, ITV and SKY. ‘
‘Hysterical!’ – Netmums
‘Sensational!’ – The Mirror
‘The perfect mum’s night out’ – Redbridge Drama Centre
Su Pollard: Still Fully Charged
Meet Su and her accompanist live on stage to celebrate her 50 years in show business with a night of hilarious laughter, fabulous songs and wonderful stories.
For 50 years the legendary Su Pollard has delighted audiences, starring in the nation’s best-known TV shows and on stages around the globe in some of the world’s most-loved musicals.
From humble beginnings on TV’s Opportunity Knocks (where she came second to a singing dog), through her years as Maplin’s chalet maid Peggy in the hit BBC TV series Hi-de-Hi!, to her West End and national touring roles in Godspell, Annie and Little Shop of Horrors, and her more recent TV appearances on Celebrity Masterchef, Gimme Gimme Gimme and Would I Lie To You?– it’s been an action-packed half-century of sheer entertainment. And she’s only getting started!
Su’s new one-woman show Still Fully Charged brings a national treasure face-to-face with an adoring public to celebrate the amazing characters she has been fortunate enough to play, the incredible friends and colleagues she met along the way, and the staggering range of music she has performed and recorded throughout her illustrious career.
So join Su for an evening of hilarious stories from 50 years in show business, featuring songs from the shows, backstage secrets from her diaries, and maybe even the appearance of one or two familiar characters!
Directed by Paul Boyd
Musical Director Steve Edis
Written by Paul Boyd and Su Pollard
Ms Amber Guity’s Drag Bingo November 2025
From the Soho Theatre Drag Lab, self-proclaimed drag legend and Dabbers Next Top Bingo Caller semi-finalist, Ms Amber Guity, returns to the Queens Theatre Hornchurch with her sell out Drag Bingo show.
Expect comedy, music, sing-a-longs, two full games of bingo and ridiculous prizes, in a drag bingo party you won’t want to miss.
Ms Amber Guity’s Drag Bingo August 2025
From the Soho Theatre Drag Lab, self-proclaimed drag legend and Dabbers Next Top Bingo Caller semi-finalist, Ms Amber Guity, returns to the Queens Theatre Hornchurch with her sell out Drag Bingo show.
Expect comedy, music, sing-a-longs, two full games of bingo and ridiculous prizes, in a drag bingo party you won’t want to miss.
The Scummy Mummies: Hot Mess
Helen and Ellie are BACK with a brand new comedy show that will have you laughing till you wee. From menopause to mansplaining, teenagers to Tinder, no subject is safe. Featuring brand new songs, sketches, stand-up, and of course, sparkly new catsuits. Bring your mates, bring your mum, bring your partner if they’re feeling brave enough… It’s a big Scummy party!
“Highly recommended!” ★★★★★ – One4Review
“Very funny” – The Guardian
“Hilarious” – Broadway Baby
Comedy Club 4 Kids
Since 2005, the Comedy Club 4 Kids has been getting the best stand-ups, sketch acts and cabaret stars to do their thing for an audience of children (aged 6+) and their families… but without the rude bits! The show is family-friendly but without any patronising idiocy. In fact, it’s just like a normal comedy club, but it’s on during the day, kids are allowed in, and thus there is a higher-than-usual chance of the entire audience claiming to be called Bob.
Twenty years later, the company has expanded from one London residency to being countrywide, running shows and workshops all over the UK from Peebles to Portsmouth, even producing a book on how to write and perform stand-up, and hosting our own Radio Nonsense podcast to bring the sillies to families all over the world.
